First off, I saw something on Reddit (yeah, I’m one of *those* people) that basically said orders only ship and deliver during, like, *actual* business days. Which, duh, makes sense. But then it throws in “local holidays and warehouse closures.” Okay, fair. But what are those?! Are we talking like, National Donut Day is a warehouse closure day? ‘Cause I’d totally understand that, tbh. And then it says delivery *may* take longer under “special circumstances.” Special circumstances, my Aunt Fanny! What kinda special? Like, did the delivery truck get hijacked by a gang of stylish squirrels with a penchant for Roman Stud bags? I need details, people!
Then I hop over to KMTC e…something (I don’t even remember what that is anymore), and they’re like, “No Saturday or Sunday deliveries!” Okay, FINE. I guess I can wait until Monday to strut my stuff. But then they drop the bomb: NO P.O. BOXES! What is this, the 1950s? Some of us still *use* P.O. boxes, you know? Especially if you live in, like, a slightly sketch neighborhood and don’t want your $3,000 Valentino dress ending up on eBay before you even get to try it on. And Alaska, Hawaii, US Virgin Islands, APO/FPO… you guys are getting shafted, apparently. Sorry ’bout that.
Okay, so then there’s this “Orchidee op boomschijf” thing… which, I have no clue what language that is, but it mentions gifting Valentino. Which is a great idea! I mean, who *wouldn’t* want a Valentino gift? But you gotta book an appointment at a boutique? That sounds… extra. Like, I get wanting to make it special, but can’t I just, ya know, *buy* the thing and wrap it myself? I’m perfectly capable, thank you very much!
And then “Todas nuestras tiendas y boutiques Valentino” is shouting about the Valentino Boutique in São Paulo. Which is great if you, ya know, *live* in São Paulo. But for the rest of us… not so helpful.
But the *Valentino Online Boutique* promises fast and safe delivery. So, like, which is it? Is it gonna be a smooth, speedy delivery, or am I gonna be waiting weeks and dealing with “special circumstances” and potentially squirrel-related delays? And what about local holidays? Is Arbor Day a shipping black-out day? I NEED ANSWERS, VALENTINO!
