First off, I stumbled across this listing, right? Some dude is selling a Van Cleef 20 motif necklace – supposedly .925 silver (which, uh, makes me raise an eyebrow a bit, tbh. Is that legit Van Cleef or somethin’ else entirely? I’m jus sayin’). Anyway, he’s advertising “local shipping” and even “envíos express y normales” which, translated, is express and normal shipping to, like, the whole darn country AND the USA! Okay, that’s a pretty big claim, dude. The contact info is an email and a Mexican phone number so, like, maybe it *is* local… to Mexico? I dunno. My gut says be careful.
Then I see Van Cleef Beauty… which is, like, a whole ‘nother thing. They’re talking Vienna, Barcelona, Paris – so, very international vibes. They wanna tell you about their “patrimony and craftmanship stories” and you can, I guess, save this information successfully which is, like, um, okay? Kinda vague if you ask me. It’s all about discoverin’ their universe, which is, let’s be real, mostly about pretty, expensive things.
And then, like, randomly, Parcel Monitor pops up. Apparently, you can stalk Van Cleef & Arpels’ *delivery performance* on there. I didn’t even know that was a thing! Order volume growth, returns rate, in-transit issues… who even needs to know that? I mean, maybe if you’re a HUGE investor or something, but I’m just trying to get a dang Alhambra bracelet, y’know? It just feels a tad corporate overkill.
Oh, and don’t even get me started on the Bois d’Amande Eau de Parfum. Suddenly we’re talking about roses and majestic interpretations and gift wrapping… totally unrelated to “local shipping” unless you’re, like, having your perfume shipped *locally*. I guess. The Maison wants to deliver a majestic interpretation, bless their hearts. I just wanna know if it smells good.
