First off, let’s just acknowledge the elephant in the room: Goyard is bougie. Like, ridiculously, offensively bougie. They practically *invented* subtle flex culture. It’s all about that knowing nod, that “if you know, you know” vibe. My aunt Susan once said, “Darling, if you’re not wearing a Goyard bag, are you even *trying*?” Harsh, Susan, harsh. But kinda true…kinda.
So, the belt. What’s the big deal? Well, from what I’ve gleaned from my relentless online sleuthing (aka, scrolling through Grailed and The RealReal late at night – don’t judge!), it’s a status symbol wrapped around your waist. Think of it as a tiny, wearable billboard screaming “I have money! (but I’m too classy to actually scream it)”.
They’re known for that signature Goyardine canvas, that distinctive chevron pattern, which, tbh, is kinda hypnotizing. I mean, it’s just painted on, right? But somehow, it looks a million bucks. It’s like magic…or really good marketing. Maybe both.
And the buckles! Oh, the buckles. They can range from understated elegance to full-on bling. I’ve seen some with HUGE “G”s that could double as a weapon. I’m not even kidding. You could definitely take someone out with a solid gold Goyard buckle. (Please don’t).
Now, here’s the thing that gets me: the price. Seriously, you could probably buy a decent used car for the price of a Goyard belt. Is it worth it? Well, that’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? (Or, you know, the several-hundred-dollar-question).
Personally, I’m on the fence. I mean, it’s a belt. It holds up your pants. You can get a perfectly serviceable belt at Target for like, $15. BUT… (and it’s a big “but”) … there’s something about the allure of Goyard that just sucks you in. It’s like…owning a piece of art? A statement? A really expensive way to keep your trousers from falling down? All of the above, I guess.
Plus, I gotta admit, some of those vintage Goyard belts on The RealReal look *amazing*. Like, they’ve got that perfect worn-in, “I’ve been traveling the world on my yacht” kind of vibe.
Ultimately, buying a Goyard belt is a personal choice. If you’ve got the cash to splash and you want to subtly flaunt your wealth (and your impeccable taste, apparently), then go for it. Just promise me you won’t use the buckle as a weapon, okay?
